isn't that romantic

Bombarded by thoughts of chocolate covered strawberries, love letters tucked under my pillow, and tiny boxes of bling. Suck-er. That's me. I am a total victim of the glossy magazine ads and the TV commercials with the music leading up to the guy presenting a big 'ole bauble. Swoon.

I want it.I read a lot of trashy romance novels at a rather young age - which leads me to ask "what was my mom thinking?!" I've waited for my sullen pirate to ravish me, only to turn out to be the handsome and rich and attentive prince... sigh. You know the rest of that fairy tale!I've had some near-misses with that kind of passion. Heck, I spent a decade chasing it.

My high school boyfriend - and first love - set the standard pretty high - heartfelt letters that are still tied in ribbons along with carefully pressed flowers, candle lit dinners and sincere promises for a remarkable future made with tears and a tiny diamond ring. I was 17 and thought that was the norm. He is the one that got away, only because I sent him away. And, as you may expect he went on to have that life without me. He offered to be the prince without all the agony and hype - surely that wasn't real.

My wedding at 18 years old (what was I thinking?) was complete with a sense of doom and disaster, and many people crying real tears, surely he was my pirate. Actually he was a cad. At the very least. And I'm sure his 4th wife agrees.

I've had candle lit dinners at sunset overlooking spectacular views, a limo drive to a country inn (now that would've been nice, had that guy not got carsick!), many boxes of lingerie with satin bows, dozens & dozens of pink roses and teddy bears delivered to my office, romantic walks under the stars and on beaches, evenings with firelight, candlelight and snow gently falling around me, promises and offers... all made by men whom for whatever reason, were all hype and no substance. You know the ones that fizzle out like they had a 3 month expiration date?

My husband and I have been together for almost 12 years, married for almost 10. He's not a romantic guy. His cards have always been humorous and, more than likely, have some thought of sex in there too, lest I forget about it. He hasn't whisked me away for many romantic dinners, and flowers are usually given with a sheepish apology. He's safely off the hook at buying cards as he can send the girls to the craft room and bribe them to make me something that will melt my heart (and he's right). His gifts for me are rather sensible, and sometimes funny - Lane Bryant "rock star" undies for Christmas.

So, I'm left with my own romantic thoughts - of my husband who lets me sleep while he leaves for work, and to awaken to the waiting pot of coffee. A man who goes to work everyday, without fail or excuse. It doesn't seem like much, but back in the day, I dated a few men who had too much money handed to them and not enough ambition to get their own real lives. My husband is not my pirate, nor my prince. Ours isn't a story they'll write books about, but there's something to be said for a comfortable & secure life. I bought him Sarris' chocolate and the four of us will be having a nice dinner in the dining room, maybe candlelight because the DDs will be thrilled and amazed. He's bringing them flowers. Now that melts my heart.

Lazy Days of Summer

Yesterday was C's last day of kindy. She's already mentioned that she'll be in 1st grade in just 10 weeks. She got a perfect attendance award. She loves school so much. I'll be hard pressed to keep her happy this summer. She made a pretty basket for Mrs. Campbell - we stopped by Preserve Cottage and came out with a robbin's egg blue basket, verbena soap, tiny tlight candles shaped like cardinals (too sweet to ever use I'll bet!), a tiny birdhouse... And then a stop to the S&S - some pretty teatowels with flowers and a bird house, colbalt glass lawn ornaments, and a miniature rose bush. A yellow and white polka dot ribbon was all it needed for perfection. I'm sure she will never forget when she carefully carried it over to Mrs. C. The delight for both of them was real. Good stuff.

Liv's trip to the ped looks like a waste of our $15 co-pay. She's doing much better, and of course, it must've been a virus.

Off to the library. I stayed up until 3am reading & finishing The Knitting Circle by Ann Hood. I loved her effortless writing and true emotions. Believably real and sad. EDITED to add - Well, I just followed the link I put here. I am blown away and at a loss for words. I can not believe that Ann Hood lost a daughter and this story was about her coping with and the lies about grief. I don't think I 'd have made it past the 1st chapter had I known. As it was, I sat in the living room with a box of tissues and tears spilling all over me.

A relief after days I'd just struggled with E. Berg's A Year of Paradise. It was just too unbelievable. A waste of my time.

It is a glorious summer day - sunny, no humidty and only in the low 70s. I've been tinkering around the house all day & the girls have been playing dolls. Lazy days alright.

Goals.

Nothing like repairmen coming over to get me to clean the place a bit. Frank loves to have company over just for my famous "big" clean. Vince is the same way. It's the daily preventative maintenance & attention that we're on the lazy side. I prefer busy, but Frank is really busy but still tidy so I know it's me!

So, on this rain drenched Monday morning, I've already vacuumed, dusted and scrubbed the dining room floor with a pleasant orange oil. I'm about to fizzle out. Veg in front of the computer mode is sucking me in. Soon I'll be hitting my favorite message boards, blogs, ebay auctions, and trashy celeb news. The SAHM version of the Monday morning water cooler.

Goals - gotta have them I'm told. So - stand back - here I go, at 42 this old gal is making some changes. Hereby declaring Monday & Thursday big clean days. Not that I have a maid in the wings to do all the other stuff, just hoping it will keep me on task. Unlike my usual ADD self.

Next goal - healthy eating and DAILY exercise, omg it took me 3 tries to even spell exercise, lol!
My goal had been to be Fabulous at 40. Then I lost steam and ended up even worse than before - Fat & 40. I saw somewhere that 40 is the new 20. Now we're talking motivation. I'm ready. I'm over setting goals like birthdays and reunions (although my 25th is next year, blech). I have a toothache pain in my leg - I laid awake thinking it was cancer eating away at me. More likely protesting the walk we took Saturday night, with a dash of rain induced arthritis pain.

Goal - scrapbook!! First - finish, er start, the Marine Corp. album that I gave to Dad empty three years ago. Then, use my space. I wanted a 4th bedroom to craft. Made it pretty darn charming and comfy. I keep telling myself that it's too nice to be stuck inside with the girls. Truthfully, I'm have scrap block. Too much time on 2peas oogling the new stuff & styles. I'd rather shop for new than use what I have. Big surprise, huh?

Summer book goals - hey - I'm on this one! 2 down, working on another. That's more than I read in 2006! Can you keep a secret? I liked it alot - a totally summer read, kept hearing Bridget Jones in my head but that's not a bad thing when reading on the back porch, sipping lemonade & margaritas.

Short term - goal - feed the girls. TTFN!

Morning glory

It's amazing how much has changed when we moved to this house. The deck is so peaceful in the morning. A breeze. The trees are bright and lush. Frank gets up and has coffee out there. We all straggled out to join him. The girls are silently watching the birds eat the bread they threw.

It seems like the townhouse was smothering us. Here we have room to breath and grow.

Lemonade in hand I head back to our own paradise found. With book 3 of the summer -The Year of Pleasures

Read all about it

There's nothing like a summer full of reruns to drive me straight to the library. That and a book goal of 20 from Memorial Day - Labor Day. I started with the light & easy read Little Bitty Lies
It was a good place to start... with a cool glass of lemonade on a cushy chaise on the deck watching the kids play below. That's what I'm talking about.

I never thought I'd be at this happy place again. The last 7 years seem to be one long day of p/gs, infant seats, b/fing, diapers.

They're not toddlers any more as I had to tell Frank recently. They're running, playing, fighting preschool & elementary school age kids.