who knew?

Rocket would be my constant companion.  I've struggled the last 6 months w/ this joint parenting with the girls.  Sometimes it is just too quiet here.  Except for the little kitten I bought as a pet for Vince - 16 years ago.  Rather ironic that I am back in an apartment setting where she's the only allowed pet.  That's why V got her for his 8th bday.  And, here we are.  V has been gone for years now.  The girls aren't always here.  But, my morning wake-up is always Rocket.  And her firm insistence that she is starving.  If I stagger in the direction opposite the kitchen she glares in disbelief.  Trips my steps as she circles my ankles in mock affection.  She would just as soon nip my toes and force me to open her cans of smelly feasts.  If I glance in her direction while she's sun bathing in front of the sliding door, she raises her head and gives me a "Meow?"  Which may or may not be WTF?  

how ironic

When I stopped blogging 2 years ago, I really thought I was giving up on my dreams and all my creative ventures. I went from four solid years of being a SAHM and living my dream.  I spent my life devoted to my girls and posting pictures of our moments.  I painted everything I could get my hands on, sewed lace on handmade doll clothes, I cooked every meal and loved most of the life that I detailed here. I also lost a bit of myself.  Lost the respect of others (right or wrong doesn't matter anymore). I have no regrets... I know that I gave my very best.  And it didn't kill me to go back to work full time.  It happened so suddenly that I didn't have time to analyze and mourn that girl.  What I did was work my butt off.  Be treated like a dumbass.  take every opportunity and sieze it like a gem.  I still can't believe that I found a job I love just a mile from my home.  That I was able to get a nice promotion.  And respect of my peers.  I love being able to show my girls how strong I am and they are.  How the last 2 years have brought change and we've more than survived.  The irony is I thought I was giving up who I was b/c of that change, but instead I've been able to return to who I really am.  I am smart, strong, I get the job done, I speak the truth.  I am middle aged.  Finally I've been able to accept that!  I am happier in my 2 bedroom condo with peace and security than I ever was in my 4 bedroom home with the strings attached, sullen silences, constant controlling.  I am free.  I can spend my money on beads and pay my bills.  I don't have to ask permission to have my OWN money. I don't have to ask permission to do anything as a matter of fact. I am that person that I keep trying to be but keep giving up to make room for mr. wrong.  I've spent my life being a strong woman who had to make concessions.  No more. I gave up my life and I gained my life back.  I lost time with my kids but what we've all gained is a greater appreciation for what we have. 

I just lookws around any only see that what I adore.  I have edited down, but certainly not pared down.  And the irony that keeps me amused.  I'm living a lifelong dream - in 2 weeks I will be in Paris.  For a long weekend and then business.  I am living the life I wanted.  I lost the life I wanted. I have time to enjoy life.  I am happy.  Isn't that ironic? 

I'm back...

Rings from baubles & buttons...

I never really left I guess. I 've been crafting, and junque-ing but just not posting. The 8-5 gig has really been a drain on my creative side - but things on the home front have allowed for improved crafting :)

Need to find my cameras... for now a few cell pictures are about all I can add. I've been doing craft shows with some friends. It works for me 'cept for that heat and humidity - yikes - Saturday was a scorcher - but I thank of you who found your way to our tent and circled back a few times to buy more as the day flew by! You may have met my new gal pal - Stella - she was quite popular - I lost track of how many of you wanted to take her home. :) TTFN!

life outside blogs

Yep, there is life beyond carefully and artistically gorgeous blogs. In my 10 months of employment, I've met many very nice people who I can guarantee have never published witty stories about and pictures of their dogs, dishes, grandmother's china... they all think Facebook and social networking are IT. Blah. If I wanted people to contact me IRL, I wouldn't have an unlisted phone number.

When I quit blogging, I went cold turkey and deleted my blog favorites, and even blocked my own from view. No tempting fate and the desire to make, create, or do something that didn't involve the ability to organize office supplies, edit verbose reports, and schedule flights to exotic places that I thankfully never want to go to. Instead, my spirit was lifted every day when I would take off my heels, support garment, and check out the snarkiness of the following sites and quit biting my tongue from the absolute politically correct and bizarrely quit of my current workplace. Seriously, sterile and serene. No, tight and controlled in a very passive way. But, not a bad place in any work environment way. Just not my home full of good kitsch, and all my carefully chosen stuff...

Any how, you've probably BTDT, but in case you haven't...

http://awkwardfamilyphotos.com/

http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/

http://cakewrecks.blogspot.com/

Liv just interrupted this for me to help her make a warning sign for her bedroom:

Don't NOT exturb me!

hellooooooo

Pssssttt.

It's just me. Coming back to write about silly little things again. I just perused my old pix and stuff and I love all the memories of my kiddos that I was able to capture. I miss it as much as I miss the amount of time I'm able to spend with them these days. But, I'm over dwelling on it. I'm ready to continue our silly little stories if only for me to read. No more challenges and all that stuff. Blogging can be so cut-throat. Everyone always seemed to be one upping each other. At least in my mind. :) And this is my mind, so I will carry on! (Tim Gunn - I love ya man! we have a hot date tonight)

Back to reality...where your heroine left off - bitter and angry over my diminished capacity of stay at home to office gal. The shoes are my favorite part. And I think what happens when stuck in an office for so long is that you don't realize you're stuck there after a while. :( makes me sad but I think I'm there. Of course, now that the girls are back in school I'm not missing them so much. They're off doing there thing and so am I. Like keeps moving like this. Like sand slipping through my fingers. Which reminds me. I'll be on the beach in 2 weeks. Heaven help me. Sitting on my ass all day hasn't helped the 50 lbs melt from my body. My typing skills are amazing these days. That's me trying to look for the positive. yeah that's me. wink wink.

Why did I return here after deleting all my favorite blog

no pretty pix

My house is so sad. My kids are too young to know how little decorating was done this season. But the 15 totes of Christmas decorations that are not coming down from the attic know.

I usually decorate every inch of my house. Take down all my other decorations and replace with the holiday ones. I must admit defeat. The entry to the attic at this house is impossible. The only one who can navigate it is Vince, and since he's graduating from college next week :D he's been a bit too busy to ask! So busy that the poor kid turned 22 on Pearl Harbor day and we still haven't been able to get together and so much as blow out a candle.

In early November, my husband's employer gave 60 days notice that they were closing down their US operations. And 9,200 people were losing their jobs. Merry Christmas. Forget about the 18 years of service by DH. It's over. I'm not bitter. We saw it coming since spring and planned somethings accordingly - we didn't replace the mini-van after my accident, I started working on weekends to transition the family to me not being there for their every whim 24/7! So, until January I will be working a 45 week desk job with some really intimidating factors - such as if you are of Chinese descent, working in the US on a VISA, and a Canadian national, what do you need to travel to China for work? A trip to the consulate in DC? A bunch of forms that must be perfect??? Yep. AND I can't stick my part-time weekend coworkers and give notice going into the holiday madness. So, I'm working 7 days a week until January. God help me.

And I'm more that a bit afraid. DH is anxious to start collecting his unemployment checks and have some time off. And I have never, ever been married to someone who was unemployed even for a minute so, WTH?

I blew the cobwebs off of my resume and cranked out a cover letter using the remaining creative skills. And got hired within one week, at a company one mile from my home. :D I'm obviously more than just a glue stick wielding, dog walking, kid chauffeuring, volunteering type a gal.

So, I'll be trapped in my new office trying not to read pretty blogs. And feeling sad that my kids will be reduced to the ubiquitous studio print on my desk. And my Christmas decorations will be banished for another year.

If I can pull it all together, I may be able to get the girls pix this morning in their holiday jammies. Stay tuned...

My name is Kelley and I approved this message:

The girls assured me that voting at school was more fun than accompanying me to cast my official ballot. The weather here was gorgeous, the lines - rather long - about 10-15 minutes, the parking insane, the sense of community - rather cool. It seemed everyone knew someone else and there was a lot of waving and hellos. But anti-climactic to the elementary school kids. Even with classmates in the same lines. Hopefully, we'll have a clear winner by tomorrow that will make it a bit more real to them.

I'm proud to say that my dear son was able to vote in his first Presidential election today. He was a month shy of being 18 at the last election. Kudos for the newest generation of Americans proudly voicing their convictions and casting their ballots.

You'll notice that I've stayed away from politics. I never started this blog b/c I missed my opportunity to go the political science route. I'm not that worried about convincing the rest of you all that I know more than you do, or that my right is the only way to go. I've always been politically motivated. I've volunteered for two local candidates. Stuffed envelopes. Wrote letters commending those who upheld their campaign promises. Traveled to DC on a bus to protest a President. Voted for him at a later date. My voting record is as checkered as my past.

My parents are likely canceling out each others votes today. That's okay. They raised us to be thankful for the mere privilege of voting. They're both manning the polls today. Hopefully, nothing too exciting happens there that will land them in the national spotlight. Good grief - my Dad would/could be the next Joe the Plumber or worse...

If you haven't already - VOTE!