Tuesday, September 9, 2008

perhaps

you're driving down the road, the same road you drive 10 times daily. You are driving to the elementary school, like you do twice a day, faithfully. But, you aren't listening to Hannah Montana on Radio Disney.

For some reason you are listening to Steve Perry and Journey, Faithfully. Important to note that it's Steve Perry. And not the impersonator/impostor who replaced him the late 90s. And you want to know why more people aren't outraged over this wanna-be Steve P. Don't they watch VH1, Behind the Music?

And then you can not imagine that 25 years have passed since high school. And you can't understand how time flies and stands still at the same time. And you realize perhaps you aren't crying over this band break-up and the reinvention. Perhaps you're crying over the fact that you are 43 years old and still struggling. With kids, spouse, finances... And it doesn't seem possible to have covered 25 years, and you wonder if you've gone anywhere.

Or perhaps, you're crying because your capris are too tight and you used to be really vain. And that these extra carbs are the baggage you'll carry through middle age. And perhaps you're crying because too much eye make-up at 43 looks silly, where as too much eye make-up used to be pretty sexy. And that you can change your hair color and style but the afternoon sun is unforgiving. Roots are roots and wrinkles are wrinkles. And perhaps, what you see in the rear view mirror is just that.

But perhaps you have a friend that you can call and not be able explain why you're crying. And they'll understand 100% and your tears will turn to laughter. And you'll think that perhaps PMS is better than menopause.

3 comments:

Dana said...

Dry those tears, wipe off some of that make-up, put on some faux athletic wear and lets go to the thrift store. we'll play some Pat Benatar if that will make you feel better. After that we'll go to Bruster's.

Little Blue Violet said...

Awesome post Kelley! Made me sob. Perhaps I just think I'm the oldest out of all of us and perhaps I will finally meet that special one made just for me...perhaps I am crying all over again...
no smiles...just
DarLy*~

Anonymous said...

This 46 year old says, "What a great post!" For all the big talk of embracing age, some days are just the way you've described.

Pretty in pink...

Cotton shirts.  Love 'em. Usually can't wear 'em.  Too tight. Pull at the boobs.  Or, shrink in the first wash.  And being a plu...