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A Tale of Two Friends at a Craft Show

"It was the worst of times, it was the even worst of times..."

Despite warnings of approaching thunderstorms and the promise of rain, our heroines, Lucy & Ethel, (aka Dana & Kelley) arrived promptly at 6am with vehicles loaded with lovingly hand crafted & upholstered treasures. Mine - carefully pressed to perfection and labeled. Our biggest fear - that we didn't have enough stuff. How naive. Sunscreen was applied as proof of further optimism. The tent was the only stable thing there, thanks entirely to Mr. Doe Hill's expertise the evening before. We braved the first rain drops under the shelter of a huge old tree. And carefully redid our displays. It was cozy. Then it would clear up and we'd bring the stuff closer to the sidewalk. We were like dogs chasing our tails.

I would love to tell you that we sold it all and are sun burned. The truth is - we sold very little and got soaked. And muddy. And our stuff got wet and dirty. And then Lucy heard thunder and insisted Ethel abandon the inventory and dash for the safety of our cars. And then it poured. Other vendors stuck it out with a ton of tarps. We went in search of a tarp, but decided to get our stuff and leave before more damage was done. Refreshed by chocolate from RiteAid and after a near violent encounter with a sweet, but slow cashier, we bagged it, Literally. (btw Lucy was right - they didn't sell tarps. But Ethel was stubborn and didn't want to drive across the river to buy a tarp.)

I resorted to tossing my dresses in garbage bags and racing to the car. We raced upholstered chairs to her tailgate, through ankle deep water. And in defeat, accepted a low ball offer on a chair. Funny how easy it is to lower your prices when you're drenched, and hungry. Which brings another issue. Where the hell were the funnel cakes??? Lucy started the day with a bowl of cold cabbage & noodles, sans salt. Ethel went straight for the pizza that was just so-so. Even Lucy's ice cream wasn't anything to go back for. Truly, I may quit sewing and open a gyro stand as their line was the longest at all 300 booths!!

Other high/lowlights of our day - my children screaming from the front door at 5am - "don't leave us, please don't go to work!" . The smug look from DH and his inquiry as to when we'd "knock off this shabby chic stuff. It never sells!" The historic cannon salutes that almost gave these 2 middle aged women heart attacks. The call from a certain party at 11am saying she'd slept in, thus the lack of photo evidence of accompany this narrative. Lucy and Ethel pinky swore in the pouring rain to never, ever do this again. And Ethel said a certain F word at least 500 times. On the ride home, Ethel decided to never sew again. Until approaching the Salvation Army and the promise of vintage fabric. Where she was mistaken for a homeless woman, with her now dry, but filthy feet, dirty pants, the cute craft apron/purse mangled around her waist that had morphed into a rag sling, and once the soaking baseball cap came off - disheveled & dirty hair. Knowing looks were exchanged as she got into her car - filled with black trash bags, wooden crates and vintage luggage.

And from the picturesque gazebo, the band played on...

PS - Lucy already called and we've started our plans for next year. The only thing that'll stop is the weather, certainly not common sense!


oh I am so sorry you had such a rough day Kelley, the weather was just NOT on your side! :((

I had to laugh at your account of it all and can SO relate to all of this when my Mom and I used to do shows. We had a terrible storm happen one time when we were at Antiques in the Woods, it was awful! lol

Hope you are dry, and cozy today... I was so hoping I would have made it to see you guys and all of your pretties.

xox Heather
preservecottage said…
At least you got a clever tale out of it. Every couple of years Marc and I suffer some sudden bout of amnesia and decide to do a show. We've threatened to have a reminder tattooed on each other's forehead: thou shalt not do shows or fairs.
Dana said…
We'll do it again someday!! Maybe next year maybe sooner!!! I will not accept defeat!!!!
It breaks my heart to think of your beautiful things wet and muddy. But, I have to say I sure know how you feel. I've got caught in a storm at a local sale
TWICE. Guess I don't learn.

The worst part of the story is that you missed out on a funnel cake. Those are the only reason I do shows!
Kim said…
Sounds so very familiar! At least you have a sense of humor about it. You know I feel your pain and completely understand. I suppose it's a battle scar we creators carry, you deserve a purple heart. Enjoyed reading your post.
I love your synopsis of the craft show. Ah-h-h-h-h how we so anticipate those sales ($$$$), and O-h-h-h-h the disbelief from what Mother Nature can do to us! LOL! That was the funniest account I've ever read. Thx for the story....


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