Thursday, June 14, 2007


Whelp, I've been a slacker. My hand's been bothering me all week and it really zaps me. I have to favor it, and limit what I can do. What a tedious hassle. And, at first so painful that I can see stars when I hit it wrong.

And, it has been a pretty sucky week. Gramm ended up in the hospital. The cancer is stage 4 in her bones, causing the broken ribs. We all knew this was coming. But it still takes you a bit by surprise. Just weeks ago, she seemed like herself. And then it all started slipping away. Bit by bit. Even Vince said when he got a private number call at 11pm last week, he thought it was me and news about her. So, everyone is squabbling. The family with each other. The family with the nurses and doctors. Yes, she needs tests. Painful, ridiculous tests. But, they've got what they needed to know now they just need to get her a bit better and send her home. Dad and I cleaned her room, threw away the old sheets, moved all the furniture to accommodate the wheelchair. I would like for her to come home. If only for her to die peacefully there. No more tests. She will need to go to a home for rehabilitation first. There's just no way around it. Kim's frustrated. I just get the big pix info. She wants details. And then, no matter what I say, she gets defensive or mad. I hate when those who have physically or emotionally left the family offer last minute lifeboats or second guess the rest of us. Pu-lease. I went today and mom & dad had ice cream with the girls in the gift shoppe. I tried to show them the windows of the maternity ward but couldn't get to it. Liv said she didn't remember that :D Cathrynn remembered that there were lots of windows when Liv was born. When Vince was little he used to say "remember when I was born and they put me on the table, and the walls were green..." after a while he forgot about it. I still wonder if he did really remembered his birth, if anyone could've it 's V. So, as this not so good week closes, I'm a bit misty eyed over life. Death. Birth.

I took V and Caitlin a care package of Pepperidge Farms brown sugar & cinnamon bread, creamy pbutter and peach jam, ramen, pop & $40. They were thrilled. That was some good pbj I'll bet... Was supposed to be my breakfast, but those college kids need it more than I do anyday, anyway.

Sweet pbjs.

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